“If your pastor treated you the way you treat them, I highly doubt you’d ever step foot back in a church.” -Me 🤣
That is a legit thought that has come to my mind many times. The more I serve and watch others serve, the more I stand by it. I’ve had more knives in my back than I can count. People smile and hug my neck, and then tear me and my brothers apart with their words and gossip as soon as we leave the room . It’s gets old. The calling is worth it, I’m just saying, the junk gets old. Let’s call a ♠️ and ♠️.
First, let me confess, pastors are 💯 human. We aren’t Jesus. We love Him so much, but are NOT Him. We are imperfect and saved by the same blood as everyone else. We are your brothers in Christ. We are not hierarchical Grand Poobah’s of some religious cult.
I know firsthand I frustrate many with my flaws, failed vision, mess ups, etc. I’ve earned many of the criticisms that have come my way. I’ll be honest with you, I frustrate myself with myself. However, those criticisms I can handle. It’s healthy to embrace those and learn from those criticisms, they help me fail forward. They are often times faithful wounds of a friend which is far greater than the flattering deceitful kisses of the enemy.
It’s those who claim to be your friend or brother that tear you to pieces that hurt the most. Those you have been in the trenches with and loved and cared for unconditionally in the midst of their pain who abandon or betray you, that stings the most.
This Psalm says it perfectly.
[12] For it is not an enemy who taunts me— then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me— then I could hide from him. [13] But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. [14] We used to take sweet counsel together; within God’s house we walked in the throng.
Psalm 55:12-14
The Barna research chart 📊 is very enlightening that I posted above. The healthy relationships that pastors once had are seemingly more challenging to come by. I honestly believe this to be true for many, whether in ministry or not, but for the sake of this thought process, I’ll stick with clergymen for the moment.
This chart is encouraging to know that I’m not alone in what I’m feeling. It’s also motivating to want to try to find healthier heights of health relationally with those I care about and love.
In the mean time while I seek peace from the LORD and aspire for healthier and fruitful relationships (including those I’m blessed right now, relationships can grow from glory to glory too)I find comfort in this psalm as ointment to my souls wounds.
PN
Nate Staton 